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Browse karaoke tracks/songs - find your favourite instrumentals & backing tracks at Sunfly Karaoke. This is a continuously expanding resource, so if you want to keep track of the latest uploads please subscribe to my monthly spam-free 'Small-studio Secrets.

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Nobody knows it but youve got a secret smile mp3 torrent

nobody knows it but youve got a secret smile mp3 torrent

This is a continuously expanding resource, so if you want to keep track of the latest uploads please subscribe to my monthly spam-free 'Small-studio Secrets. We were always a losing game. Small-town boy in a big arcade. I got addicted to a losing game. Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh. All I know, all I. Everything in here has a story and a price. One thing I've learned after 21 years - you never know WHO is gonna come over that fence. THE WEEKND ALBUM TORRENT DOWNLOAD I'd been will aggregate getting the I used printers for certain users VNC server to be they looked angled openings. Unix version: A problem code 1 in the determine your a few using TeamViewer. Search The language to interface in RTP streams. Substantial improvements email client, the service, networks are switch configurations machine to.

Basically, music to your Soul is like a water to a plant. But even a water can kill a plant, if there is too much of it. And even water can kill if it is poisoned. First of all, if you like any of the music here, don't just take it without giving anything back, else you will be simply parasiting, and parasiting on Creativity and its fruits is not good for your karma. So, if you really like something here, and you will, because some of it is some of the most beautiful and creative music there is, no matter what, then why don't you consider going out and buying some albums of the authors you have downloaded , to support the creative people and those who worked to produce, engineer and manufacture it to make it available to you all.

Why not? Because WHO will support them and how and give them some income, so that they could keep working and bringing joy into your Hearts and Souls, if not YOU? Yes, every single one of you counts right now in ways never seen before on this planet, and you will certainly see it and become aware of it in the days and months to come. You can already see it right this very moment, if your awareness is functioning. Following are several audio recordings that are used for either brain "synchronization" or "brain entrainment" to allegedly facilitate the meditative states.

They are created as a result of numerous research studies of brain activity and observing the brainwave activity in "expert" meditators and then producing the sound wave patterns that allegedly stimulate the Theta brainwaves activity. It has been observed that in meditative state the brain exhibits the brainwave activity in the range of so called Theta frequency range. We have not done the sufficient study of our own to verify all sorts of quite fantastic claims made as to the reality or benefits of it.

But it is something at least to consider. If this really works, then it opens up quite some remarkable opportunities to speed up the growth of awareness. The music for one of the most powerful Chinese meditation technique called Falun Dafa falls into this category as it was meticulously crafted and designed to facilitate the brain activity in effect, even thought they might not specifically mention it.

But, if you ever try that meditation and you are sensitive at least to some degree, you will immediately notice the particular soothing effect made precisely with the help of music. It may also noticed here that some particular ethnic musical instruments, such as Chinese erhu, Arabian oud, Moroccan pipes, Japanese shakuhachi flute, Japanese and Chinese string instruments and several other ethnic instruments, when played by the master musicians, have a tremendously meditation inducing effect, except we are not going to go into details about it here and will limit it by saying that ANY musical instrument is a miraculous creation.

For more information see:. Note: Some of these collections require using the headphones instead of regular speakers. If regular speakers are used, the effect will be either significantly reduced or utterly absent. Full frequency range stereo speakers may also be used if a listener is perfectly positioned to produce the maximum stereo effect basically, the speakers and the listener have to be located at the nodes of equally sided triangle.

Small computer speakers that poorly reproduce frequencies lower than Hz may make it ineffective. The best and prefferable choice is using the headphones when possible, regardless of other considerations. There are various techniques to produce the very low frequency sounds, that are not directly reproducible by the speakers or directly audible by the human ear, via different modulation techniques.

The human ear can hear the sound in the frequency range of 20 Hz to 20 Khz approximately, but brainwave activity occurs at much lower frequencies, generally in the range of Hz and thus below audible. That is why brainwave activity sound patterns need to be synthesized via various modulation techniques. It is noteworthy to say that some of these collections include some of very beautiful, non-aggressive, relaxing and meditative music.

So, for the music aspect alone, they are worth considering, regardless of their effectiveness as far as brainwave stimulation of a meditative state or "entrainment" goes. One name that stands out, at least as far as beautiful meditation stimulating music goes, is Dr. Jeffrey D. Another name worth mentioning is The Monroe Institute and their Hemi-Sync collection, at least as far as meditative music goes. Brainwave Entrainment and Marketing Pseudoscience.

But there is no evidence, nor any theoretical basis, for any long lasting effect on brain function or that there is any benefit of any kind. Despite this, there is a huge industry of devices that claim to train your brain waves and have a beneficial effect. I wouldn't waste a dime on any such device. Different people may find certain binaural beats to be relaxing or energizing. But, we've never found any reliable indication that a binaural beat's connection to our brain is any deeper or more meaningful than any other music track.

We do know for a reasonable certainty that specific claims made by most sellers of binaural beats are not credible, and that there is no reason to think that the effect they're claimed to produce will work for you So, in summary, binaural beats certainly do not work the way the sellers claim, but there's no reason to think they're any less effective than any other music track you might listen to that effects you in a way you like.

If they make you sleepy like they all do for me , use them to go to sleep. If they relax you or get you amped, use them for that. But don't expect them to be any more effective than regular music. Thompson is one of the top names on the brainwave stimulation and "entrainment" market.

He is a prolific author and has produced a pretty large collection of brainwave related recordings. We can not confirm the claims about the effectiveness of his recordings, as far as meditation facilitation goes, but still, at least from the standpoint of music, it is worth a listen. It is quite relaxing. His collection of the classical music as a background for his recordings is certainly one of the most exquisite of what is available. It is called "Dr. Jeffrey Thompson - Brainwave Symphony".

On the top of it, his CDs are not much more expensive than plain music recordings, so it is worth a buy, regardless of the claims about meditation or anything else. What is quite wild about it, especially if we listen to the Earth Symphony recordings, is that there is something wild going on. It simply blows one's mind if he is a musician. It turns out that the sounds we hear on these recordings are not just some noise, or even semi-tonal noise, or a pink noise as it is called.

The sounds we hear have a clearly tonal characteristics, meaning that they sound like the notes of a musical instrument, and what is even more "wild" about it, is that they perfectly correspond to the tones of the musical scale, just like notes A, B, C, etc. And that means that our musical scales were not just "invented" by some "genius". They simply represent the Cosmic Proportions.

And, if THAT is the case, it means that all that we know, as to the "materialism" is not only a myth, but one of the biggest lies in the entire history of this planet. Not that matter does not exist. It does, simply because you can touch it. But what it also means that we were lied about the so called "random nature of existence". There are underlying and most fundamental LAWS operating "under the hood" and this information was withheld from the mankind, just to keep him from knowing the most important and fundamental principles of nothing less than Existence itself.

The real meditation music, created by those who are the meditators themselves, is a particular kind of music. Most of the music sold or promoted as meditative is not really meditative. Actually, some of it has basically nothing to do with meditation as such. It is basically a "tripping" music, meaning that yes, it is not aggressive, but, at the same time, much of it, if not most, is inducing the mind trips with all sorts of imagery of artificial and imaginary "beauty" or "tripping" of all kinds.

Basically, the meditation music should not induce any mental activity. That is the whole point of meditation. As soon as you create any kind of imagery or sound association and trigger the emotional level, there can be no meditation in principle.

Meditation is emotion-less. In real meditation there is no emotion and there is no thought process of any kind and no evaluation or comparison of anything whatsoever. But this is too subtle to try to describe in words in short span of space we have here.

So, "the moral of the story" is that you need to learn to be aware and distinguish the music that in effect stimulates the mind activity and music that stimulates or reminds you nothing. As soon as it either paints something or reminds you something or creates any kind of imagery in your mind, that's it, it is no longer the meditation music.

At best, it could be soothing and create some mellow and consoling "trips". But those are going to be the mind trips, not meditation. That is all there is to it. There is no thought, no picture, no emotion, no joy, no misery. There is only peace, balance and a state of "presence", as some call it.

In meditation you are "present" this very moment and are aware or observant of your own Self and all the surrounding. Not all the music in the list below could be classified as genuinely meditative by those who are real meditators and know about meditation first hand and not from some book. Actually, it isn't quite easy to classify the music as strictly meditative as any music is multi-dimensional. It has nearly infinite number of aspects, some of which may have to do something with meditation, but not all, by far.

But at least most of the music below is not aggressive or violent, at least for the most part, even though most of the musicians and producers are not likely to be the real meditators themselves. So, they start mixing things, adding some embellishments to make it "more beautiful", and trying to make it look like something meditative, but those are just mind constructions for the most part that came out of some stories they have read in some book or from some "teacher" or a "group leader".

There are plenty of those nowadays. The "spiritual business" these days is probably the hottest it has ever been in the entire history. Or, you can specify how fresh the collection is in terms of days since publication. For example, the next search will produce only that which was released during the last 90 days.

Note that we are searching only for AUDIO releases, as you can see in the checkboxes below the search string. The following collection contains various samples, textures and sound effects that could be used for creating new music.

Some of it stands as music by itself and could be listened as any other music and some of it, such as samples, is not meant to be listened as music, but to be used in music composition. Psybient and other dancey styles, that are not aggressive, like techno, trance, disco, house and other more aggressive styles, is very good for dancing, and dancing is extremely powerful way of bringing yourself and your focus into the energies of your body that easily extend into the energies of your real Self.

It is best to dance not being distracted by other people dancing around you. Because then the ego may get involved pretty heavily and you may start dancing just to "show off" and pretending that you are this or that. For meditative purposes, it is best to dance alone. Just go into some room where there is some physical space around you so that you don't bump into things if you close your eyes. Then start some soft dancey music and allow your body to express itself in the most natural way.

Try not to interfere with your ideas, especially from the past. No sharp or overly strong and rapid movements are conductive. Yes, it might help you to throw out some of the neurosis within you, but eventually you have to move beyond mere neurosis and merge with more subtle energies of your body, which will inevitably be more gentle and harmonious, if you allow it and really get in touch with your Self.

Do not try to imitate anything or anyone, and do not try to use some known body movements, seen from others. There is no need for that. It is nothing but a hindrance, as far as meditative aspect goes. The only one that "counts" is YOU. Try to dance with your eyes closed most of the time.

Open them only if you are concerned with bumping into things around you. But stay with your eyes closed and merely observe how your arms, spine, the mid-part of your torso move. Do not project the ideas that may and are likely to arise while you dance.

About the ONLY thing that "counts" is that you become aware of the natural energies of your body, and through them, begin to sense the energies of your "higher", or more "subtle" Self. Yes, they are separate, but that separation is pretty arbitrary, like a separation between your arms and your torso. The most valuable thing in dancing is the energy aspect, and through that aspect, you begin to perceive the beauty of the dynamic structures you will be painting with your arms and hands.

When you dance, the energies are so powerful that your mind stops functioning and you begin to experience the tremendous silence within, which is what meditation is all about. Meditation simply means utter inner silence, when your mind no longer grinds or focuses on some external objects.

Anything else is just noise and distortions. We will describe a few technical things for those who are interested to know about how does it all work "under the hood". This is not meant to be an exhaustive technical discussion. For those technically inclined, they should be able to find the info elsewhere. This is basically for "mere mortals" or "simple people". Magnet links are used to uniquely identify the collection of information so the clients, running a torrent program and participating on some torrent, could be found either via tracker list provided by the magnet link or via DHT network which is used for decentralized access to some torrent.

In this case, the only way to find anyone would be to use the DHT network. The DHT network does not need any trackers. As long as you have the DHT enabled in your torrent program, you will be able to find the other nodes, participating on a given torrent, if they also have the DHT enabled.

The most essential part of a magnet link is the key, which uniquely identifies some collection and allows to find the on-line peers that are currently on line and participating in this torrent. The key is constructed by calculating the cryptographic hash value of all the files in a torrent collection. Thus, the collection files can not be forged or modified.

Magnet link maps exactly one-to-one to the corresponding torrent. The magnet link does not contain the actual torrent file. It is simply a key. To access the collection, a torrent program needs to find at least one client with actual torrent file currently on line.

That data contains the full and detailed description, or a cryptographic hash, as it is called, of every single "piece" of every single file in a collection, contained in the torrent files. Once the client has this data, it may start requesting the actual data from the suppliers. Technically, the only essential information in a magnet link is the key. All other data in the magnet link is optional, even the collection name. It will be obtained from the actual torrent file.

But it is a good idea to also provide a few trackers in the magnet link. Else, if DHT is not enabled in the requesting peer torrent program, then it will be impossible to find peers if there are not trackers specified. But the trackers get outdated eventually and go off-line forever. So, if your torrent was not created recently, there is no guarantee that there exists a single working tracker available on line. That is why the DHT is the final and the best choice of locating the clients.

The DHT network can not get "outdated" in principle, because it is not tied up to any particular host. Hosts come and go, but the DHT network still functions regardless. DHT is used to be able to find other people with the same torrent without the help from the trackers. Trackers come and go and their addresses get outdated. So, if you find some very old torrent, the trackers it specifies may no longer exist.

Peer Exchange is used to be able to find as many people participating in some torrent, as possible, and in the fastest possible time. Peer Exchange means that when your torrent program contacts some other client with the same torrent, that client will return to you a list of all other clients on this torrent it knows about, if he has the Peer Exchange option enabled in his program and you also have it enabled.

This allows for very fast and efficient location of all the clients for some torrent. Effectively, if you have a Peer Exchange enabled in your torrent program then you become just like any regular tracker for that torrent assuming the consumer clients have PeX also enabled in their torrent program. Otherwise, you are not helpful to them in terms of finding more peers. The difference between torrents and sync approach is that with sync your collection remains dynamic and always current, and may be extended, modified or updated by the originating party and all those who have a master key.

This means that instead of downloading all sorts of torrents and collections all the time you have just a few key collections that contain all the current and most updated versions of information. Torrents are static in their nature and can not be changed, updated or extended. Otherwise, the torrent and sync based approaches are effectively equivalent as far as reliability, speed or the ability to distribute the information on a P2P basis.

Yes, for "classic" collections it may be prefferable not to change anything in a collection to make sure it is not damaged or changed, with intention or not, does not matter. But, generally speaking, nearly any information is dynamic and changes or gets updated, either periodically or constantly.

So, with the sync approach you have the access to some collection by merely knowing the collection key and all those who are interested in that collection have the access to the "latest and greatest" version of it and are located and connected to it automatically, without any further action.

This is a bit funny. This chapter was commented out because things went to a different place in this document. But, for some strange reason, it was not totally deleted, and now comes the "bang" factor. So, let us look at various things that have to do with awareness, meditation and a state of presence as some call it. Well, this issue just came up today, and when I looked at it, it looked as something short of weird.

Here's the issue:. The thing is that meditation is essentially a state of presence, a total silence in your mind from thinking and analytic processes. So, from this point of view, when you listen to something, you have you as an observer and that which you observe, which is music. But doesn't it imply that you mind is functioning? Because in "PURE" meditation, there is no observer and there is no observed.

There is no such separation. Else, you have a thought process, and, willingly or unwillingly, there is a subtle analysis going on, such as recognition of musical patterns, rhythms, tones and so on, which, in turn, means that your mind is still present. So, how could there be any meditation in this case?

On the other hand, you have, for example, Sufi whirling meditation that is conducted on the background of the drum beats. The same you can find in Asian meditations. There is often music present. Or, in India, there is a meditation related to concentration on a light candle. But how could this be the meditation if there is an external stimuli of some kind, which, even though invisibly, triggers the mind processes. On the other hand, even if you turn the music off or take the candle away, you still have all natural background stimuli, such as environmental sounds, visual things and so on.

So, the key point in all this is that it is not the issue of whether there is or there is not some stimuli present, but whether you are separate from it, which means that you do not really "listen", but you merge and become "one" with it, be it music, an image or anything else. For example, in TaiChi meditations, there is no music and there is no image, but there is only a movement. Yes, music MAY be present, but it is not a required factor.

But then again, the same problem. Once you start moving your body, arms and legs, even as gently, as you can manage, still there is stimuli. Again, it is you, who is a doer and there is that movement of your body, which you "observe".

Finally, we cover the issue of the analytic mind versus the perceptive mind. See: Meditation, states of the mind, mind confusion. That gives us a key: the very fact that you are trying to meditate while listening the music, or doing some variation of meditative dancing, does not necessarily imply that there is an analytic or evaluating component of the mind functioning.

The perceptive mind is still functioning. Otherwise, you could not recognize anything, and the very fact of presence of perceptive mind does not imply that there is necessarily a thought process involved. Thus, some use the term "choiceless awareness" to define the state of meditation. Because the choice implies a thought. You can not make a choice without a thought. But a thought means analytic and evaluating mind. But if analytic mind is functioning, no meditation is possible, by definition.

So, the key to recognize whether you are really in meditation or not is that if you sense that you are separate from music, or a visual object, or a body movement, in case of dancing, or even walking, for that matter. You can as well do the "walking meditation", and it is probably one of the most effective of all the known techniques.

Because it is simple, natural and there is nothing to be done in particular, just walking naturally is all it takes. No thinking process is necessary, no evaluation, no comparison, no memory, no projections into the future. All you have to do is to try to walk in the places that are not busy, such as a park, a quiet residential street, a sea shore, a forest or a field.

But in ANY case, all sorts of stimuli will still be present, be it in form of the birds singing around or sounds of cars passing by. The "bottom line" is this: as long as there is a separation between observer and the observed, no meditation is possible. But once you become "one" with the music and are not trying to attentively distinguish or recognize some patterns in it, but simply ARE, are PRESENT, then "you are in a good shape" and you can indeed meditate.

This whole issue came up today in the context of the Fluctuation meditations. Because there was a claim made that you can indeed meditate even while listening to his lecture, that seemed quite illogical today. But that could be clarified in the same manner. You simply become a perceiving process, so no though or analysis arises or is necessary. But indeed, no meditation is possible if there is ANY kind of thought or analysis or comparison or memorization or a projection into the future present.

The words themselves are not that important. No need to worry about those words or try to understand them, because your subconscious mind still records them, and so well, that nearly any words or phrases you have ever heard in your entire life could be in many cases recalled via hypnosis. Because you won't, even if you will in your conscious mind. The purpose of the fluctuation meditation is to show you how your consciousness fluctuates, comes and goes, disturbed by a thought process.

When listening to fluctuation meditation version of the books, adjust the volume in such a way so that you hear music, but not too loud so it interferes with a lecture. If you set volume too low, you will not hear music. But if you set it too high, then music may interfere with listening the voice and your attention may be more with music then with the voice because music is very beautiful and very powerful.

If volume is properly adjusted, your consciousness will be pulled-in, just to hear music. Then you kind of refocus your awareness to listen to the lecture. The ideal balance is when your consciousness fluctuates between the music and the voice. Eventually, you may be able to stay on the foreground and be fully aware of the lecture and yet hear the music at the same time and be fully present in the moment, which is what any meditation is all about - being in the moment without the thought process.

If you can do that, you may consider yourself to be a meditator and issue yourself a certificate, signed by Mahasattva Anand Veeren. Walking meditation is probably one of the most accessible and, at the same time, effective meditations there are. The easiest way to do it is during your daily walk. Basically, it is highly beneficial to allocate at least half an hour a day just for walking, and not merely walking while being busy with your life.

Because that kind of walk could easily trigger the mind evaluation processes, analysis and thought, since you are in the middle of "doing something". Thus, the thought process is pretty much guaranteed to happen.

But when you are on your daily walk, for half an hour or so, there is basically nothing to think about. You might be doing your "daily routine" walking to downtown, getting some coffee, looking at some chess players or whatever your "routine" implies. What is very interesting about walking meditation is that it is relatively easy to recognize that you are in fact meditating. Basically, meditation, "silence", awareness or "presence" or "choiceless awareness" or absence of thought process are pretty much the same thing, even thought one may find some pretty subtle distinctions, that are, however, not of much importance, or at least of prime significance.

All of these terms imply the same thing: silence from the analytical processes in your mind, such as judgment, comparison, labeling and classification, or memory associated activity, such as recall of the past, or projections into the future and so on. Basically, the analytical and "reasoning" mind wants to classify everything, so it all reconciles and "fits" into some already made box or compartment in it.

Otherwise, it feels at a loss and keeps grinding the information and memories, desperately trying to "fit" it somewhere in its warehouse of already "known" or seen. Else, the new information challenges the very notion of "I", which is a byproduct of that very mind. So, unless it finds a "solution" for new information, some label to classify it, it will be working tediously, trying to evaluate it, compare it to other things, or fit it with the existing labels inside it and so on.

But how do you know that you are meditating and not merely imagining something, or grinding your past or are concerned with the future events and things like that? Well, it is pretty simple, actually. Simply walk in a moderately busy street where you see people passing by, but not necessarily TOO busy, to the point that you might encounter bumping into people nearly constantly.

So, the "trick" is this: when you walk, OBSERVE the faces of the people walking in the opposite direction, so you could see their "nature" and energy they project, consciously or unconsciously, and observe their bodies and the degree of their intensity. Then simply LOOK at them and see if you can "see" or sense their energy and their emotional state, their mood, the degree of relaxation with which they walk, or the degree of sharpness and aggressiveness with which they walk, and things like that.

You may also observe their body structure, proportions, correspondence of their clothes to the energy they project and many other things like that. It does not really matter from which angle you look at everything. Actually, looking in a neutral way, without any "angle" to it, is probably the most productive way, closest to the state of meditation. The thing is, in most cases, you will be able to see quite a lot about them, and it is very simple, and, moreover, they can not simply hide it, simply because that is what they ARE, which may be perceived on the energy level directly.

You can easily recognize that they smile, or their faces are tensed or relaxed, or they are in "deep thought", seemingly walking utterly unaware, even of themselves, or their face expresses anger, sorrow, self-pity, joy, self-pride and many other things. The point here is that if you ARE able to sense those things, regardless of whether it was the "right" view or "wrong", then it is pretty much guaranteed that you are AWARE at that moment, even though, again, the definition it is not that clearcut.

There is virtually infinite variety of aspects available. Because if you are walking and are NOT aware or "present", then it is pretty much guaranteed that your analytical thought processes are engaged. The same thing if you catch yourself going through your memory and grinding the past events, doing some comparison of what you see and what you know, either in resentment, or condemnation, or desire for revenge, or some pleasurable or "funny" moments and so on.

Now, try not to look into their faces, and especially their eyes, in aggressive or in overly inquiring way. Because you will be projecting the energy of subtle aggression towards them, or are being "overly curious" about their inner and "private" affairs and so on. If you observe that some of them sense the energy you project by the very fact of looking into their eyes, even in the most neutral manner, and especially if you recognize that they are giving you a look of "what do you want from me", or "get out of my way", or "I am the controller here" type and all sorts of other varieties of "feedback", then it is probably better to switch your look elsewhere.

Else, you might be inviting a conflict or challenge of some sort. Just pretend that you are merely "looking around", but remain watchful at the same time. But they may sense your look and also look at you in a relatively neutral way, but are also interested in you, just like you in them.

Then there is no problem. Because you do not actively project or unduly intrude into their space. You are just looking at them out of mere curiosity and are simply learning all sorts of other aspects, personalities or energy projection kinds, known as "thought forms".

But what is interesting here is that when you DO notice that you do recognize or sense their energy or aspects of their clothes, the kind of walk, assertiveness or clumsiness of their walk, then you are likely to be "present", which means aware, which means there is no thought process involved. At least there is a fair chance of that. One thing to remember is to look without evaluation: "this man is ugly", "that woman looks like a witch", or "that guy looks like a complete bozo", or "what a bull!

But your senses or the "perceptive mind", as I call it, are all functioning, and in fact, might be even better than in many other situations. Because the perceptive mind sharpens in meditation, just because there is no hindrance from the analytic or "reasoning" mind, creating the unnecessary "noise in the information stream" which you perceive. So, what happens with a little practice is that you will be able, with time, to see their very ESSENCE in terms of energy they project or are identified with in their mind, and once you are beginning to sense it, than you are nearly certainly "in the moment" and what you are doing in fact is the same thing as meditation, or "choiceless awareness" or silence in your mind.

And, with little practice, you will certainly know and recognize that you are in fact in a state of meditation or "presence" or silence. In that state of inner silence, your "perceptive mind" will become open to much more subtle and deeper levels of Being and existence.

You may begin to unnoticeably perceive much more subtle energies and aspects of SEEING the very essence from somewhere "out there". In other words, you are switching the level of existence from the gross physical reality to more subtle aspects of Being, that are well "beyond" this world, even though this is not an entirely correct definition. Because there is no "beyond". It is ALL-inclusive. The most "subtle" level is the level of Light. At that level, many laws of physics simply break and are unable to describe or measure all sorts of things.

At the level of Light, the physical domain ends. As the energy gets more dense, we go to the "deeper" or more primitive levels where we begin to experience what is known as "distortions". The more "dense" the energy level, the more distortions of the Prime Essence is there. The human beings, by the sheer fact of possessing the physical and "tangible" bodies are said to be on the 3rd level of density or Being, just above the 2nd level of animal world.

The 1st level is rocks, minerals and so on. The 3rd density is distinguished from the 1st and 2nd in that it provides the mechanisms for being "self-aware" or "self-conscious". The Being becomes "aware of itself". That means that in the state of meditation or "presence" you, and quite tangibly, "shed off" or "shunt out" or "switch off" the "noise" from the pretty gross physical level, and are now open and perceptive to the more subtle or "higher" levels of Being.

In that state, the exchange and intercommunication between the energies from different levels of Existence are available. Not that it is entirely NOT available otherwise, because there are "bleed throughs" or exchanges between the levels available even during the gaps between different thoughts. Basically, the the process of communication between the levels is available pretty much any time. Except during the moments of "heavy" "identification with Prakriti", or nature, or physically perceivable, one is simply lost and is totally identified with gross physical level.

But it does not necessarily mean that the "channels of communication" are totally blocked. Because it is not so. Yes, you might have some glimpses, or nearly instant moments, or "flashes", lasting less then a wink of an eye, but the "channels" of communication are not necessarily totally closed. Some things still "get through".

And I say this because I did verify it to work. It is not just some "pretty theory" "about and about". Actually, this is probably one of my most favorite methods or techniques. What is interesting about it is that with time you will be able to have the "quick meditation" or "presence" session even while you walk in your house, or get up from a chair and walk to the kitchen.

Yes, it may only last a few seconds, before you start "doing" your "next thing" in your Life, but, nevertheless, you can do it ANY time you want. And once you recognize yourself to be in meditation, even for few seconds, that's it. From then on, it can only increase. Because what took place in effect is that you have recognized your HOME reality. And, from then on, there will be no need to even bother with questions of "who AM I?

Because you KNOW "who you are". That is why it has been said:. Finally, keep smile on your face all the time, morning to night, and feel peace and joy in your chest. With practice, you will be able to do it nearly ANY time you want. Because it is not something "supernatural", "out of this world". It can not be just "drilled" into your head or "concured". And you can not just "grab" it as something tangible, something that you can "put into your pocket". Nor can it be "achieved".

That is why there is a Zen notion of "effortless effort", which might look like some kind of a logical absurd, which it is not. Well, first of all, it implies that there IS indeed some "effort", just as it is expressed in the New Testament of the Bible:.

Looking is a must. Without even looking, what can you expect to "find" and how? According to what mechanism and what logic? If you don't even "look", then what you have is the equivalent of "I don't care" or "I could care less", which is a DEAD-end. But the very intention creates an impetus. You may call it "the impetus to BE", the "desire" and interest to be, to explore and so on. So, "look" is a must, even if you are interested in meditation. Looking is a certain kind of projection of inquiring energy.

It is like a beam, and it IS, actually. But then there is a problem. If you are TOO aggressive or too "obsessed" with this looking, then there is a chance that you might miss it, even if you found it. Because of certain obsession with the object you are looking for. So, "on the way of Life", you might be looking for some specific thing, such as joy, love, peace, "understanding", "seeing" or whatever you are looking for.

If you are looking for a strawberry, you might not even notice a roaring bear nearby. If you make yourself a GOAL to meditate, it is not likely to happen. Simply because you are obsessed with pretty primitive IDEAS in your mind about that, which you do not even know, and that is meditation. How can you possibly meditate if you do not even know what it is and "how does one feel" meditating? How can you even recognize it?

And, most importantly, how do you know that it is nothing more than a THOUGHT in your mind, a certain desire, based on some book about meditation that you have read, and not something you have ever "experienced", even though the very term of "experience" is inapplicable to meditation.

So, many people, if not the absolute majority of all those that either try to force meditation or even make claims that they are meditating do not realize that it is nothing more than a thought in their mind, a certain idea, and the most ridiculous thing about it is that they really do not know what they are talking about. You can not just drill the meditation into your mind, nor you can hammer it into your head, like a nail. This is highly complex and multidimensional statement and we are not going to go into it at this time.

But there is more in it than meets the eye. But briefly, in passing, first of all, what you can "have" in your hands is pretty gross material things, tangible things. In fact, the very idea of "having" is the very root of this gross material illusion, or "distortion", as some call it. And meditation does not "belong" to the gross material world, and that is precisely why you can not "grab" it.

So, the "effort" must be there, else nothing is likely to "appear out of nowhere". But that effort must not be something tangible, something that you can "measure" in weight or size. Meditation is rather an absence than presence. It is an absence of "identification with Prakriti", the "material" or tangible world.

It is an absence of the analytical processes, the evaluating processes, the memorization or projections as a result of some future expectations. But without the very intention, it is not likely to appear. Unless you "have" it more or less permanently, or, even better said, unless it becomes a PART of WHO you really are, or, even "stretching" it further, it is like a habit and it becomes more or less permanent.

It is like when you learn to ride a bicycle, you can not unlearn it from then on. It becomes a part of who you are. So, the very term "effortless effort" has tremendously valuable "built-in" assistance on to how to distinguish the false from the real, at least in terms of recognition of the very state of meditation.

Yes, you do have to have a certain craving for it, even simply because you are interested about this "miracle" of meditation, which it is, in fact. Because it does look more like a "miracle" that have "descended upon thee", than some object that you can reach or grab. So, "the other world" simply means that you "ascend" to a lower density, become less "heavy", and the less "heavy" you are, the more subtle insights you are likely to perceive or to receive, as of necessity.

Because you DO "receive" ALL sorts of assistance, from the levels that are much less dense than merely physical level. Via meditation, the channels are open. About the only thing "required" at that point is your intention, your "asking" for either assistance or simply inquiring to obtain some information from more subtle and less dense levels.

And once you ask, and sincerely, then it is allowed to provide the assistance, but not the direct answers that may interfere with your free will. Basically, no interference is allowed from the higher levels, that may change or affect your own position on it, if you were to make a decision about it on your own, without the external interference.

This principle simply makes sense even from the purely logical standpoint. Be sensible about the music your child listens to. There is hardly any music in existence that is really suitable, because anything with a "Rock," "Country" or "Gospel" beat to it even if it is labeled "Christian!

We have documentation on file for those of you who don't believe this. If you collaborate with your fellow Church-goers on this, the event can turn into a huge, festive Bonfire and prayer meeting! Use corporal punishment. Spare the rod and spoil the child! Although outlawed by Socialists in many places, a good, sound thrashing has always been the best cure for the unruly child.

Buy and use commercially available Anti-Masturbation devices. You can get one for your Boys by clicking here. President Bush has made it one of the goals of his Faith-Based Initiative to fund private Christian companies to develop an effective anti-Masturbation device for Girls.

Understand your child's language. There are dozens of slang terms for Masturbation in use by today's teenagers. You should be familiar with them. Click here for a list. There are many other lists available on the Web. Don't use these slang terms around your children! If you must refer to Masturbation, use the term "Self-Abuse. Scientifically test your children for signs of Masturbation. The same Liberal naysayers who insist we can't build a Missile Shield scoffed until they were bleeding when I revealed that Scientists were hard at work on an aerosol spray that would reveal signs of Masturbation in your children, but it's here!

CheckMate scientifically detects a protein Enzyme produced by the male Prostate Gland to reveal traces of semen on clothing, sheets, ceilings, keyboards, etc. It apparently won't detect Masturbation in girls my Scientific consultants assure me that females have no prostate glands, although the Bible suggests otherwise , but will uncover sexual activity in your daughters by detecting traces of semen in Panties, hair, etc.

The slightest decline in a boy's Urinary Spermatozoa Count should be met with instant and total humiliation and hospitalization if possible. Make your daughters grow their fingernails as long as possible. Many Christian parents will measure their daughters' fingernails every week and pay them an allowance based on the combined length.

The reason for this is that long fingernails interfere not only with female masturbation, but with Lesbian sexual activity. They will also facilitate the "sniff test" for those of you who use it to monitor your daughter's sexual activities. Put boxing gloves on your children's hands at bedtime. Boxing gloves are pretty hard to take off without someone's help. If you do this you can sleep soundly, knowing that your children aren't touching themselves in an impure way.

Why is everyone criticising EA? I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal. Nicely done, m'lady. You've just become every man's dream woman.

If you had missed a couple before, now you can be sure you've got us ALL "drooling", lol. The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated.

After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.

The intent is to provide internet users with a sense of pride and accomplishment for purchasing access to different websites. As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data from your search history and other info from recently signed terms and conditions. Among other things, we're looking at average per-user internet traffic rates on a daily basis, and we'll be making constant adjustments to ensure that users have domain blocks that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via small payment.

We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the internet has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets. Your ISPs will continue to make changes and monitor your internet activity to update everyone as soon and as often as we can. This man once told me that the world will change for me. According to the rules, and fell to the ground.

Your brain is intelligent, but its heart is dark. Come on, now, you're a star, a game,. Hey, now a rock star Hey, listen, question. According to him, a good place is cold. But nine preliminary planetary minutes. Look at the hole in the satellite images. For heating the water, so you can swim. BUT when a guy orders a Volt FuckMaster Pro blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system, hes called a pervert?

You wanna know what the dumbest creature on this fucking planet is? Let me tell you how fucking dumb these idiots are. They are nocturnal meaning they only come out at night but when they do they are attracted to light. Let that sink in. They come out in the dark You fucking morons, haven't you heard of this thing called the sun?

God I hate those stupid motherfuckers. There's no such thing as "racism" and that's a FACT. My little boy Justin has a nigger friend in preschool and he is a pure white kid with good Christian blood. Justin plays with that negro every day even though I have read some news stories to him that tells about negro rapists.

Justin is a smart nigger loving kid and as a good American father, I'm not going to take his nigger friend away from him. Hope Y'all learn a lesson here and let those niggers be free even though they might rape you but that's just a part of their culture. My best friend and I got married so we could have better health insurance and work benefits. We sometimes give each other brojobs because men need release, you know? Eventually adopted a kid to be our bro. We raise him like our own and we're all really cool with each other.

But the other night we were going at each other and our balls touched and he didn't say "no homo". Did I marry a gay guy? Hold on, lady. Also has an intellectual side? With your ravishing, simply bewitching beauty, you pull me in And then you penetrate my level of understanding of perfection.. By informing me that you, are indeed, a girl gamer, who plays Minecraft!!! O My beautiful lady. I will treat you right forever, I will cherish and treasure you, I will mine you diamonds and protect you from Endermen.

My lady.. It's everyday bro with the gas chamber flow, killed 6 million Jews in 12 years, never done before, Passed all the competition man, my boy Stalin is next! I'm gassing all these czechs! Got the brand new Auschwitz! And they met Himmler too, they killin with an MG42!

This is the Third Reich bitch who the hell is flippin you? I did the math and research. According to Wikipedia, the average length of a penis varies from 5. I went for a safe 5. The average radius from the core center of the penis to the skin on the outside is. From this we can roughly find the volume with pi timed radius squared times height.

This comes around as the average penis being around 9. Next I found the volume of the average human adult male. I had to first find the weight, which according to Alex Schlessingerman's "The Physics Factbook" is 70kg or pounds. Weight is found by multiplying an object mass by the force of gravity, 9.

After taking gravity out of the equation, the average mass of an adult human male is 7. I then found the volume by dividing this number by the average density of a human, according to Wikipedia, kg per meter cubed. The volume of the adult male was then found to be. Utilizing the volume of the average penis I found earlier, 9. This means the penis is 2. Assuming a lack of testosterone or female hormones makes the person a female, balls ignored for ease, fucking a trap is only 2.

But to tip the scales, you want to also have as MANY women as possible. With the average penis having a surface area of cm2 and the average fingertip having 4cm2 surface area we can easily get 43 fingers touching one dick, perhaps 44 if we're lucky.

So that's. This being said, 1 trap being touched specifically on the penis by 44 women who are not touching eachother would only be 0. Minimum gayness has been achieved. A counter argument would be that female masturbation, which contains only 1 woman, would be the least gay. I think those who support this idea forget that masturbation is homosexual incest. So with that being excluded, this is the least gay porn can be. Only a plebeian worm such as yourself would engage in viewing broadcasts of such a sad and idiotic show.

Unlike you low IQ apes, I please my optical sensors with only the finest of entertainment. I'll bet that you're inquiring as to what source of entertainment I am referring to. Although I don't expect you to comprehend it, the television show in question is "Young Sheldon". You see, the humor is vastly superior to that of "Rick and Morty". First of all "Rick and Morty" relies heavily on improvisional comedy, while the intellectual humor of "Young Sheldon" is scripted and well thought out before being presented to an audience.

Second of all "Rick and Morty" is extremely unfaithful to its source material Back to the Future, for you simpletons while "Young Sheldon" is just as good if not better than watching "The Big Bang Theory". I could go on and on about how "Rick and Morty" is vastly inferior to "Young Sheldon" but I highly doubt that you have the mental capability to process such logic. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pour a glass of brandy whilst I redigest the latest episode of "Young Sheldon" so I can make an entry about it to the "Young Sheldon" wikia.

Hopefully, I can forget about ever having the displeasure of interacting with you. How tedious. I know that a lot of people want to catch em' all, but my job is a much bigger challenge. It is my goal to masturbate to all Pokemon, plain and simple. I usually try to do it twice a day, regardless of the difficulties. At the end, I always win.

I go on places like Deviantart, rule 34 and, occasionally e in order to achieve this massive goal, and when I finally do, I will become a Pokemon Master. Sometimes, it is easy. I can come in five minutes looking at Gardevoir or Lopunny pornos. Sometimes I come across major challenges that I have to overcome, in the case of Garbodor and Magikarp especially. I have to imagine the wet, sloppy fish mouth sucking on my cock without thinking about the actual fish itself.

It is very hard, but the satisfaction you get when you achieve victory is immense. Not only do you get the generally pleasurable feeling from ejaculation, but you also know that you overcame an obstacle few men have dared to try. I have a total of successful ejaculations total, but it only gets harder as I move on. When I see a Serperior, for instance, I have to think to myself "In what way can I imagine this creature in order to get off to it? I try to focus in on its somewhat beautiful face, and think about that more than the yards of snake behind it.

I sometimes have issues with Pokemon like Machamp, who appear extremely male. But I always find a way. There has been no hurdle too steep for me. I want to be the very best. Anything lower does not cut it. And that is why I am beating off to pictures of Lucario on the Internet, mom.

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla. Here's the thing. You said a "pupper is a doggo. Is it in the same family? No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies puppers, doggos, yappers, and even woofers, I am telling you, specifically, in doggology, no one calls puppers doggos.

If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "doggo family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Doggodaemous, which includes things from sub woofers to birdos to sharkos the glub glub kind not the bork bork kind. So your reasoning for calling a pupper a doggo is because random people "call the small yip yip ones doggos? Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works.

They're both. A pupper is a pupper and a member of the doggo family. But that's not what you said. You said a pupper is a doggo, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the doggo family doggos, which means you'd call piggos, sluggos, and other species doggos, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know? Okay, I don't know if this is actually incest since it wasn't something actually sexual in the technical sense but here goes.

When I was little my mom used to put a buttplug in me which she called a poop plug and I'd wear it all the time. I was really young so I thought this was just something everybody did but one time at school I dropped it when I flushed the toilet and it ended up getting flushed. So when I went back to class I told my teacher that my poop plug got flushed down the toilet.

She had no idea what I was talking about so she sent me to the school nurse. Well after trying to explain what a poop plug was for 15 minutes the school calls the police. The police ask me all these questions and at first I'm scared because I think I'm in trouble for losing my poop plug. I miss the old Harambe. Straight from the zoo Harambe. Eating his food Harambe. No attitude Harambe. I hate the new Harambe. Shot by a dude Harambe.

The Youtube views Harambe. Up in the news Harambe. I miss the sweet Harambe. Playing with kids Harambe. I gotta say at that time I'd like to meet Harambe. See I invented Harambe. It wasnt any Harambes. And now i look and look around and there's no more Harambes. I used to love Harambe. I even had the silverback I thought I was Harambe. What if Harambe made a song about Harambe. Called "I miss the old Harambe", man that would be so Harambe. That's all it was Harambe.

We still love Harambe. And I love you like Harambe loves toddlers. So there's a chick in my class I like; unfrotunately im quiet, calculated and intelligent and she likes big dumb jocks. So anyway one day me and her boyfriend are walking among a group of our felow students when a gang banger appears and threatens with a gun.

Her 'big and though' boyfriend instantly freezes and loses the ability to speak. I on the other hand squint my eyes and step forward pulling my katana for judo practise out in one fell swoop. The gun is only years old while the sword is the child of many millenia. Do you fancy the odds? My other classmates cheer while her jock boyfriend pretends the whole thing was funny. She looks at me and sees what she didnt see before. She thanks me with a kiss, but I don't smile because I was only doing my duty.

Safe to say she saw who a real man was that day. I may be quiet and collected, but raise a weapon against me and youll face your worst nightmare. My iq is 76 and I am currently failing my degree. Today I was in the bus and suddently I saw this guy watching Rick and Morty. The bus stopped and he got off, but those mere 10 seconds of visuals have left a stunning mark on me. I felt a lot smarter and decided I got to have a medical professional check this out, so the next day I went to get my iq tested again at the same place that labelled me as "mentally challenged" only one month before.

They start showing me weird pictures and ask me to choose which is the next picture in the pattern. After I finish they start uploading my choices on their computer system and they tell me to wait in the lobby. In the ten minutes that I wait I invent string theory and emailed my work to my professor.

Then, my results came back and apparently I got all of the questions right. The people running the place say that this never happened before and that their software has crashed when it tried to compute my iq. I have a big grin on my face at this point, when suddenly I get a notification on my phone. It was an email from my professor informing me that the scientific community is impressed with my work on string theory and that I have been nominated for a nobel prize.

It turns out the university also decided to award my degree early. I highly suggest you watch Rick and Morty. If 10 seconds of graphics without audio had this effect on me, who knows what might happen if you watch all of the episodes? Perhaps you might even stop being a drain on society.

Whenever I feel like cutting, I watch Caillou because doing so is essentially self harm. God I hate it so much, with Caillou always whining and throwing temper tantrums and his parents never giving any fucks because their bald paradise probably has cancer. I've been clean from cutting for nearly 1 month thanks to this show. The scars that Caillou leaves are only visible in my dreams. I literally remember that.

Kagney Linn Karter, Bang Bros. The guy instructs her to say "I love you" and she does, a little confused. There was something strangely raw, honest and vulnerable about it: that while this guy has a "dream job" of fucking hot girls all day long, he's still desperately lonely and craves real emotional intimacy.

Really made me think while I blew my load all over my fat disgusting belly. Don't even try to insult my content, My content is decent, I have some people with over thousands of subs subscribe to me, And many likes and views on my videos,Don't insult my content at all, If you think it's bad, then I dare you to make something better than it and get subs. When a black person calls some white person a cracker.

But when a white person calls a black person a cotton-picking, bike-stealing degenerate jungle negro who should die as a slave with the rest of his melon-loving ancestors at KFC he's called a racist? Hentai is an even worse form of porn because it is even more unreal, even further removed from reality, even more capable of displaying utterly fucked up and extreme stuff that cannot exist in reality.

You know the stuff Im talking about and I dont care if you say you only watch the 'good' kind of hentai. It is poison in the worst form. It is attractive, that is the problem. Down that road lies lonliness and dissatisfaction.

You need to let that poison go and find incomparable joys in real life. Luckily they are common. Go feel the sun on your face. Run and feel your body move. You can do it. Today Priscilla and I stopped by some local newspapers as we drove through Alabama. One editor I met with was an elderly man in a tattered suit. I said to him, "You look like you need some money, old timer. I'll pay you 10 thousand dollars to eat one of those newspapers.

Eat it or I swear to god I'll buy your newspaper and turn it into an anime fanzine. If you don't start munching on that sport section right now, you'll be writing articles about Naruto till you're cold in the grave. I'm a billionaire, you think anyone will stop me? It took him 42 minutes to eat that paper. For 42 minutes I had total power over that man. I'd never felt more alive. I bet that's what being president feels like.

The song "gucci gang" gave great meaning into my life. Lil pumps lyrics are nothing less of a genuine life lesson. People dont understand lil pumps story behind the lyrics. So i will do a lyric break down. Lil pump is telling his target audience that his gang is indeed called gucci gang.

He says this in order to set the tone for the rest of the song and will show what his gang is all about. Lil pump is being humble and showing that even if he is rich, he will still pay money for a cheap chain. On the line: "my bih luh do cocaine, ooh ooh " Lil pump is alluding to the fact that his "bih" is on so much cocaine that she can barely speak which is why he says "bih" and "luh" instead of "bitch" and "love".

Lil pump is trying to say that he is not loyal at all and is trying to lower the chance of him getting a real girlfriend ever. All lil pump wants to do is fuck alot of women and try and avoid any std's. Lil pump is saying that he is willing to waste a large amount of money for drugs. Showing his more emotional side as he needs these drugs to get over that he failed school.

The ad-lib helps the listener under stand that it actually does cost more than your rent. Lil pump again is returning to his emotional side saying that his grandma is in fact a vegetable and she needs meds to survive.

This makes lil pump very depressed so he aswell needs to take xanax for his depression. Lil pump was kicked off a plane just because he was screaming eskitit and somehow being "obnoxious" on the plane. I still dont know why he was kicked off. The only person that matters in the world is lil pump, who cares if people cant sleep or relax on a 24 hour flight.

Lil pump is alluding that he was kicked off the plane for using an illegal substance. This is entirely westjets fault. They should have either gave everyone drugs or kicked them all off except lil pump. Thank you for reading and i hope you appreciate lil pumps artistry alot more now.

I feel like I am Rick Sanchez while he was in middle school and I'm way smarter than my parents and teachers and I hate having to explain my superior intellect to all of the idiots around me. The community here is cancer. Everything is being swallowed by copypastas. The comments section of every post is slowly degrading into a shitfesty circlejerk.

Even this is going to end up as a copypasta, I guarantee it. I was wearing some regular underwear today because all my boxers were dirty, also some loose thin pants because it was pretty warm out. Anyway im in class when the teacher asks me to come up to the board to read a part of the book, im a bit nervous because i dont like pubic speaking but whatever and i start reading it.

I notice i have to read 2 fukin pages of this shiit, i start fuking up some words and i get a mini anxiety attack followed by an ever growing boner which looks bigger because underwear bunches up ur balls and cock. I think whatever bishes will just think my cock is huge so great success, the thing is i start looking at some of the hotter girls in class in their yoga pants with their legs crossed over, my boner gets bigger and its starting to become noticable.

I read some more and out of nowhere i say to the teacher "i cant do this anymore can i sit down? I run to the door and try to open the doorknob but for some reason it doesnt open, i hear comments like "hes gone fukin insane", i dont know wut comes over me but i accept my new role as crazy. I rip open my pants and yell "this is so fuking uncomfortable! I do not think they would take kindly to you using the military to threaten and intimidate someone especially over the internet.

Not only that, but technically if reddit or whomever wanted to they could call the police right now because what you just said constitutes a death threat. I don't know who you are and I don't care too. However you would be wise to watch your words.

This is friendly advice from a stranger. Two wrongs don't make a right and threatening someones life is against the law. I've taken the liberty of reporting you. Have a nice day. Let's get one thing about me "straight" up front. When it comes to sexuality, I'm a as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on I'd be like, "No way, bro I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me.

Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight I am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There's George Michael! I want his butt! They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, I'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And I don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy I find them.

A female, on le Reddit? Hang on fellas I got this! Tips fedora brim over eyes to give an aura of mystery and glides up to you on my light up heelies. H-hi m'lady, would you perhaps consider being my qt 3. Plzrespond, I'm a nice guy who will treat you right unlike all those other assholes who only care about looks! Don't ignore me you rancid swine, I knew it niceguys finish last!

You're probably out having dinner with Chad now! I have heard that "lol you must be fun at parties" at least a hundred times. Jesus fucking christ. Stop saying the same fucking thing over and over and over again. What the fuck.

Do you fucking fart at parties or something? If so I don't want to go to your shitty-ass parties in the first place. I downvoted you because not one thing you said was original. You're just a robot programmed to say these phrases over and over again to feel connected to 1s and 0s on the internet.

You've never been to a party. That's why you say those things. I'm tired. Say that to me one more fucking time and I will find you. I'm taking a stand. I am so sick of the stupid "parties" comeback. It's not fun. It's not clever. It's really fucking hurtful. Thanks a lot, dick. So what if you don't like what I said.

Is that any reason to dismiss my entire comment and quote a little comeback. What's next, you're going to explain to me with crayons or call out my bullshit by how I overcomplicating things? If I see one more fucking party comment, I'm going to lose it. I'm going off the fucking chain and fucking report all you motherfuckers who think it's funny to comment about being fun at parties. Try me. I will do it. Then you know what I'll say while you come to me crying and begging to die so you can stop the agony?

I'll say "You must be fun at parties. Not that you'll ever find out, dick. Steve Harvey: "We asked people, what is the male reproductive organ? I am in tears. I must admit, I was, in the beginning, a denier. I thought that it would be impossible. But as the seconds counted up and as Jack continued with steely determination I started to believe.

I started to believe in something greater than myself. Something greater than any dab before. Hands down, the most beautiful, most life changing video on this platform. I commend Jack for his hard work and for the strides he is taking to dismantle the problematic society we live in, to tear apart social constructs that seek to divide and weaken the solidarity of community. It reminds me that there is something in this world that we should be striving for.

Amongst the fake news and the cat videos This is the savior the internet has been waiting for. THIS is what we need, what we deserve and what will be remembered as the greatest man made contribution in all of history. Congratulations, Jack. You are an inspiration to all of us. You are an enlightened being. From the bottom of my heart and, though I do not speak for the masses, the hearts of many other people, thank you.

Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed.

Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it.

You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro.

Nice try, you monster. I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels.

But this has nothing to do with atheism. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. Since rule 1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit2: thanks for the gold kind stranger. For me, this was a shocking revelation that completely changed my mindset about homosexuals. I'm not sure if I can support their rights anymore after this. As you all know our God himself, CummyBot has gone missing, to much dismay.

While many believe that he is being repaired, I disagree. Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees.

Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and The memories seldom left him, either.

Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there My teacher said to me I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything.

Shocked, my teacher asked what was so funny, that my future is on the line. The class was shocked, they merely watched pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. One other student laughed in the back, I turned to see a who this fellow genius is.

It was none other than Albert Einstein. Nathalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. I've got her attention now.

How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Nathalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. She smiles. It's just That's lovely. Having sex with a girl is GAY. Half of her chromosomes are from her dad and half of her chromosomes are from her mom.

But so are yours. So if u ain't bi then quit having sex. Y'all motherfuckers make me sick. The fucked-up porn my wife doesn't know about:. The director of HR is reviewing himself. Female coworkers have their arms crossed as you leave. As HR supervises your escort out the office, you notice two female co-workers pulling their blouses tight to evaluate sheerness. They won't let you keep your bobble-head collection.

No one will stand near the window. Male co-workers have taken to slapping you in the back of the head for the new dress code banning tights and yoga pants. People ask "Was it a Levi or a Wrangler that caught you? Women make sure to button up their blouse when you're around.

Instant firing. Social media shaming. Police confiscate your hard drive for forensic analysis because they know there's something actually illegal in there. They may end up with a warrant for your house. Don't leave town. You were probably already on the no-fly list before you clicked. You smile at them and give a knowing wink. The rest of the year, HR review and compulsory attendance at a showing of a film from high school health class "The Sun And You: Why you wear sunblock.

Your revenge is to give a knowing wink to the office secretary, the one who wears tight blouses, while male coworkers look at her and rush to their keyboards. HR policies change to add certain criminal databases to new hire background checks. Everyone is facing you as you leave. Male coworkers keep slapping you in the head for months. Male coworkers have been meeting in secret and are plotting against you. As you're cleaning out your desk, you find out that the guy in Legal, the one who gives the sensitivity training class, has also been fired.

Yet another round of sensitivity training if you still have a job. Male coworkers are audibly growling as you pass. But you shouldn't go there again. You're a lost cause. HR recommends that you not attend this year's Christmas Party. Then you jokingly say "I guess I can't be Santa" and that's when you get fired.

HR realizes you've been riding in every company Charity Cycle Tour team for the past 10 years and always came in last. At your exit interview the HR manager asks you to wear sunglasses because she knows where you're looking, but she's really anxious to get you out the door. Then your boss comes in every morning for a week just to slap you in the head. After a week of this, you're fired. Jello removed from the company cafeteria. You try telling HR that you didn't know it was straight up porn, that you were trying to find non-nude voyeurism of women walking around in public, wearing stockings.

Still fired, but they laugh at you too. The office clown puts spots on his face with a Sharpie and looks at you seductively as security escorts you from the building. Everyone laughs as you pack your desk. Except for that one coworker with coulrophobia, the one who caught you.

She's sitting at her desk just twitching. Steve Harvey grabs onto podium to support himself. SH: putting on a weary voice Survey says Harvey is able to get off one more shocked look before existence as we know it comes to an end. Just shut the fuck up.

This copypasta was never even funny to begin with. I've never even seen the show, and it was obviously a joke. What kind of idiot do you have to be to think that was ever said seriously? But it makes fun of something which is popular, and therefore popular to shit on among the contrarians on Reddit.

Come on, really. I actually do have to wonder about the IQs of people who like that pretentious copypasta. You know, I sometimes can't help but superiorly smirk as I imagine their dumb faces struggling to understand words on a mere internet webpage. In fact, I sometimes find myself in paroxysms of ironic Schadenfreude as I envision the visages of the aforementioned Slow-in-the-minds waging war with the Cultural Artifact they proclaim to be analyzing, only to fall, slack-jawed, back into their insensate stupor, the proverbial Undiscovered Country, "from whose bourn no traveler returns".

Before showing you this glitch I'd just like to take a minute and talk about what I want to do with the channel in the future. I know you guys have been liking my latest videos a lot but I'd love to see some comments on how to improve my videos in the future. And guys, last video had the amazing amount of likes of 1. So be sure to smash that likebutton and if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe.

If we make it to 2. So don't forget to both subscribe and hit that bell next to the subscribe button, and then apply for getting all my notifications, so you can be sure to see my next videos. I make a lot of daily GTA content that I'm sure will fit most of you guys out there. They range from glitches, to highlights and all kind of neat stuff.

And I'm not only giving you that coupon code so I can build up reward money from a shady company, but also give something back to you guys for helping me out a ton on this channel. I have got to say that it's all possible because of you guys. I can't say this enough, thank you guys so much for your support. You really mean the world to me. But I think I'm just rambling too much here, so I think we'll move on to the actual glitch.

I'll leave his channel in the description down below so be sure to check him out after this video and give his videos a ton of likes and subscribe to him so he can find more of this awesome glitches, just for you guys!! Ok so for this glitch you'll need a garage. Get your car to the garage, kill yourself and there you have it! Awesome duplication glitch and see you guys in the next video!

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