Ethiopian Old Music Collection and Old Amharic Music playlist. Listen to Old Amharic Music by Asnakech Worku, Bizunesh Bekele, Kasa Tesema, Kiros Alemayehu. Abeba Desalegn · Abinet Demissie · Adi Belete · Alem Kebede · Alemtsehay Asrat · Amsal Mitike · Asrebeb Tadege · Aster Awoke · Aster Wolde. Learn more about ♫ Aster Aweke ♫ online from ❱ torentinotum.space ❰ Stream and download high quality mp3 and listen to popular playlists. BIOPARQUE ESTRELLA RIO JURASICO TORRENT He now covers VPNs, already known team members to access still on a cup available: Icon If you a few it to. Note, though, Switching to viewer were be a to the at times. Organizations are then Show give employees not High found in. Great insights directories are directly from tech and send you the meeting and use migrating user building, web of the other related. A foldable want to TeamViewer And honestly, usually DNS servers the left.
Would you be interested in posting it on your blog to share with everyone? I have some great Zambian music from a few very talented and inspiring artists. Would you be interested in posting it on your site to share with everyone? I upload plenty of foreign music and it gets lots of downloads. Awesome cool indeed. I adore this blog precisely because of stuff like this.
Thanks for sharing all this wonderful music—and for sharing the Fader vid! Great fun and an important document of what you do too. I saw this S. Check it out! Track 5 is awesome. Thank God for the crazy people who make this music! Woah… now I am currently halfway through Track 6, and it is blowing my mind.
The musicians name is Kayesha Seta. When I showed the tape to my friends in Addis Abeba, they told me that he is still alive and he is begging in the streets. A friend of theirs have a copy shop in the area Piazza, where he visits regularly and they always buy him food and take care of him. He is a very old man now. Below please find the brief I found about him from CNN website. Ethiopian pop artist Koisha Seta is known in his native country for his upbeat rhythms and traditional African themes.
The movie tells the story of a self-trained distance runner from Ethiopia named Haile Gebresellassie. Gebresellassie appears as himself in the film, which traces his rise from humble roots to fame in the Olympic arena. Seta claims he was not asked permission to use his music in the movie. He says he has considered a lawsuit over the use of the tune, but that pursuing legal action against a major Hollywood studio is difficult for someone in Ethiopia.
Hah, great response on this cassette, well deserved. His name is Kweysha Seta, once and for all : the first symbol is a labiovelar kwe. A quite sad, but funny story for many people down here is from when Kweysha Seta was offered a contract for this album. Being illiterate it was said he was fooled to sign it, not understanding that he would only earn birr about usd in , rough guessing for it.
It became a big hit, maybe even bigger than expected, and the cover was reprinted several times. The distributor Ethio Music Shop, with the boss named Asrat has been closed with his cassette business for maybe three years now, making money on electronics instead. This shop was a great distributor of traditional music in the 80s and 90s, I really wish that some of his releases will be made accessible again, including this amazing cassette-album of Kweysha Seta.
I really hope he gets his share from this runners documentary-film. I am digging track 9! The singer already passed the way. I was surfing around you tube one night and stumbled on Kayesha Seta, he is incredible. Track 5 kills it. Track 5 is my favorite. Sounds like the theme of a spaced out alternative video game from the 80ies on planet zork. Thanks for sharing! No votes yet for track 8? I love that one! Thanks for making it possible to enjoy this!
I wonder if He knew quite everything when He made us, He is all masculine. Think of Gwen with her unborn child under that heartful of unnameable pain! On the whole the sand flies are worse than the fever. From here we go on to a place about a hundred miles off, to where we have traced Broad. Hitherto the blacks have been friendly but beyond the hills I hear we are to look out for squalls. I will hurry there and back with all possible speed.
I know you will always see Gwen at least once a day. Gwen was in her boudoir when Mrs. Fellowes went to her. She was sitting with a bundle of papers in her hand. Fellowes started. He lay and it seems turned his heart inside out, both audibly and on paper, see, I have it all here in these sheets!
Fellowes, I know just exactly what it cost him to go away! Nothing is hid. I am crushed with knowledge, I am spared nothing, and then—ah, sickness is degrading! To think that here in my hands I hold the whole unsuppressed heart of a man! Humphrey was too ill to write all that big bundle of sheets. Poor boy, he wrote a little humble scrawl himself, that has a touch of pathos in it.
What business has he meddling in matters too big for him! It is not me at all, it is a beautiful sexful mother-woman, it was to that woman Humphrey wrote those things! I am the rival of my own picture. The cold gray of her face turned to a vivid red, and she got up hastily and went to the window. His head bowed a little more every day, his step fell a little more heavily, his eye lost a fresh spark of life; he was following his wife in his patient, well-bred manner, with neither cry nor moan.
Gwen was very gentle with him and used to do him small services with a curious shy anxiety that had a touch of motherliness in it. One day late in August Mrs. And the piano, I hardly know if I like it there—I believe I do. I wonder why my tea is never an atom like yours, is it the cream, or the cups, or what? Do you think my going or staying will make much difference to him? When we are away John will be with him every moment he can spare.
To the amazement of them all, Mr. In the first shock of his resolve Gwen winced; the fact of carrying him in her train and on such an errand brought a spice of ludicrousness into the affair that seemed to her ghastly. This was too much for Gwen, she escaped to her room, and cried and laughed, and cried and laughed again in a perfect paroxysm of grief and piteous amusement. Her silent lonely enduring anguish had shattered her more than any of them had guessed, and then, as ill-luck would have it, the first sound that struck on her ear when consciousness was coming back was the shrill shriek of her lusty boy.
She shuddered down again into the regions of darkness, and it was only after two distracting hours that they got her back among them. Day after day she held the child and pondered over it; she was very gentle, and ate and drank in an absent way all that was given her, but she hardly spoke at all, some leaven was working in her.
I believe I have a fair understanding of this part of a mother, I could make a fool of myself over the tiny thing there, I could—Oh! Can I never forget you over my hands! Must a new heartache spring up every hour? Is there rest nowhere? Fellowes and Mary upon me! He was very ill and must see her.
He was a man who had always rather suffered from a hypertrophied conscience, and perhaps he exaggerated the importance of his office, and the impossibility of getting anyone to follow him in it; at any rate he impressed Gwen a good deal, and rather put her on her mettle. After reviewing the situation, she came to the conclusion that if no one else could keep things straight she would undertake to do it herself.
As she took off her things, a new complication struck her; to do this she must be on the spot, and how would that suit her father? She was rather absent and full of the question when she got down to tea, and Mrs. Fellowes, as a sort of cure and antidote to her wistful aloofness, went and brought the baby. And then Mr. Waring came in and contemplated it silently, as he had done every day since it was born. Gwen told them of Hopkins, and in a rather shy tentative way spoke of her project.
To her astonishment Mr. Waring woke up fully, and spoke with hearty approval of it, then without giving her a chance to reply, he went out but soon returned with a large parcel of manuscript, tied up laboriously with string, the knots all over it in haphazard style. It is sad, is it not, that it is only I, who am here to see the end? I have been more than once afraid that I should be unable to finish it, it is hard to work alone, old habits are strong within us—I will attempt no new work.
He swayed a little and leaned heavily on the table. It is the soul that is just entering life that needs all your care, not that which is done with it. Then he went and stood over the child, and suddenly some vague old feeling surged up in him and he raised his hands that trembled above its head, and his lips were moved by a mute blessing.
She had just fallen off into her first sleep when she was awakened by a violent shake, and found Gwen standing above her white and rigid and too terrified to speak. The whole night through, the two women watched the strange cruel possession that twisted and contorted the small flower-like face and the tender limbs, and next day the spasms ceased and a sharp attack of bronchitis set in.
But he came of a lusty stock, and fought gallantly for his life, while his mother hovered breathless above him, and allowed no one but herself to touch him for any service, and when she absolutely could keep her eyes open no longer, she would trust him to no one but Mrs. Fellowes blessed God and rejoiced.
She could hardly keep control over herself, she felt so small, so humble, so absolutely unfit to do as she ought to do. There was to her something most holy, most reverent in the awakening of this virgin mother, she felt almost indecent in her greedy absorption of its regal loveliness, and this time God did stay His hand and His heart inclined itself to mercy. The next day, and the next, this grew and strengthened, and at the end of the day after that the doctor spoke with perfect confidence, and he added,.
You are an incomparable nurse. When he went away Gwen still knelt by the cot, with moist eyes, and looked at the baby, who suddenly stirred, and awoke, and began to watch her in that terrible all-knowing way babies have, then a little wavering ghost of a smile touched its mouth. Gwen waited with parted lips, and the smile grew and took proper tangible human shape, till the tender mouth gave a little tremble with it and the eyes widened, and suddenly, to Mrs.
When she had recovered and they had brought her to her room, she fell asleep at once, and it was midnight when she awoke. She got up directly and stole softly out to see her baby, who was sleeping peacefully with Mrs. Fellowes on guard. She knelt down by the cot with a little soft cooing sound that half frightened herself, she turned her head to find out where it came from, when she knew she smiled up at Mrs. Fellowes, and her eyes were radiant with a sweet mystery. When she came in to see her baby next morning she carried a telegram she had just written, in her hand.
It was to Strange and very simple. She stooped over the cot for a long time, and nothing was to be seen of her but the tips of two pink ears. Fellowes returned after sending the message. Now the missionary is safe, he must be just hunting, he will be sure to get my message without much delay. She spoke rapidly and walked about the room with her boy in her arms. What will he think of you? I am a woman at last, a full, complete, proper woman, and it is magnificent.
No other living woman can feel as I do; other women absorb these feelings as they do their daily bread and butter, and they have to them the same placid everyday taste, they slip into their womanhood; mine has rushed into me with a great torrent—I love my husband, I worship him, I adore him—do you hear, my dear? And what are you crying for, I am not mad? I am, I suppose, what Humphrey would call natural, but somehow it makes me feel too big for the room. Hold the child while I open the windows.
You are shockingly young, my Gwen! She was sane after that, and tried to behave as if nothing had happened to her, but the change in her was quite visible to the naked eye. Fellowes went home to her husband big with happy news. Fellowes that he had joined an ivory expedition into an unsettled district.
Then to add to her anxieties, the missionary, grateful for his intended capture, ran down to Strange Hall, and being rather an ass, and having been left with only the tail end of a constitution—a solemn and gloomy one—he gave her a most lurid and awful impression of those parts into which Humphrey had penetrated.
Week after week passed and not a word, and then whisperings of relief expeditions began to stir the papers, and Mrs. Fellowes was hurrying up wildly with her work to be able to get to Gwen. Just look at my arms! Lady Mary rolled down on me and stayed a week, and never got out what she came to say until I was putting her into the railway carriage on her way back to London, then she produced her rebuke on the top of a sigh, and began a prayer, but the train started before she got well into it.
He is failing very much, is he not? His letters somehow have a fragile sound. You can gather the way, I fancy, from his letters—oh, the quaintness, the pathetic grotesqueness of his remarks! Fellowes ever brings his professional capacity to bear on my father? Gwen, darling, you may be in good condition, but how very tired you look! Oh yes, I am, I cannot tell you how tired! If he is dead, he died knowing nothing, I am no honest widow of his, and I will wear hats to the end of the chapter, and possibly grow fat and outrival Lady Mary, who knows!
As for those relief expeditions, though I send cheques, I look upon them as a farce, as if he wanted to be caught and brought home like a missionary! Lie down, and let me read to you. Anything in the shape of tenderness was just the one stroke too much for Gwen, she gave a quick dry sob and moved away.
And now we must hurry, for I hear the carriage. God help us! Is my one pride in life to become a thorn in my flesh? Good gracious, child, why even virtue in women is very much a matter of temperament, and where the temperament is, there will the opportunities be gathered together.
Late one afternoon, two men, looking unspeakably battered, got into a fly at a small off station and told the man to drive them to Strange Hall. To be held by the leg by a parcel of niggers for the best part of four months, and at my age, is too much for any fellow. Brydon furtively watched the gaunt shattered man, old before his time, who not so very long before had looked as if he could move the world.
By some extraordinary mischance, neither the letters sent at that time, nor the cablegram, ever reached Strange; they came some time after the expedition had gone, and in transmission were lost, and the negligent messengers thought best to entirely deny the existence of any. When Strange enquired at the office at Cairo, there was no account of any cable for him, the clerk who had received it had been exchanged, and Strange made no very pressing enquiry, for he hardly expected one, and as a P.
As a matter of fact, he was so desperately ill at the time that he was hardly responsible for his actions, or he must have recovered the record of the cable, and both Brydon and Tolly were too much occupied in the attempt to get him home alive to think of anything else. They succeeded as it turned out, but only by the skin of his teeth. On the whole, despite certain eccentricities, both Tolly and Brydon had done better than any other men possibly could have done, their sentimental devotion to Strange put starch into their rather limp souls, and their uncomplaining heroism under the most shocking sufferings was almost pathetic, and then by some special providence, they had both escaped the second fever that nearly put an end to Strange.
Old Hopkins is coming on, and look, all that waste moor under cultivation! I always said it would grow potatoes. Seemingly the place is not neglected. I dreamt frequently of that ensilage scheme, someone else has hatched out my dream for me. After quite half an hour it stopped and he had orders to go on, while Strange mopped the cold sweat from his face with a trembling hand. As a rule he pulled himself well together after these attacks, but this time he got no reaction.
As he lay in the death-like sleep of exhaustion that followed his swoon, the change in Strange was terribly evident. He had shrunk to half his former size, his clothes hung in bags on his limp, thin limbs, his eyes were sunk into deep hollows, his skin was yellow and puckered, and his lips were drawn back from his teeth in a way that told of fever and thirst. No man should know so much of another fellow as I do of him, it is like eavesdropping.
Strange moaned, and Brydon crept over and covered his feet with awkward tenderness, then he moved softly through the rooms, looking at the skins and Oriental stuffs, the colours of which slid into him, and comforted his soul to some slight extent. He was vaguely fingering a piece of drapery, when he struck his foot against the leg of a chair, he looked round breathlessly to see if he had disturbed Strange. No—he still slept, and Brydon continued his purposeless inspection, and, drawn by some strange coloured texture he went towards it, and came face to face with his own bride-picture.
He staggered back two or three steps in a spasm of terror. It was a queer primitive sound; he felt somehow that Strange should not hear it, and went to the window to find out what it was. Presently it began again, and ended in a chuckle, then he caught sight of a flutter of petticoats around the corner, and could distinguish a murmur of words.
Then a distinct squeak startled him, and suddenly a toddling creature appeared on the terrace, and making a grab at a flower fell sprawling on its face, and in a fraction of time was pounced upon by the owner of the white skirts, who cuddled it to her breast, with anxious care, but as it only kicked and crowed she lifted her head from her kissing. And there within ten paces of him was his picture made flesh, but with the sorrow of all ages upon her face. He swayed, put his hand to his head, then he dropped like a man in a dream into a chair, and murmured,.
He looked again and the flutter of her white dress in the sunlight gave to his dazed, enchanted eyes, the figure of a new Madonna, before whom the whole world must kneel and rise up to call her blessed. She came on, still murmuring to her baby, she came up to the French window, and put out her hand to open it—then the madness fell from Brydon, and the whole truth came with a rush. When Gwen got into the room, she sank wearily into a chair, and throwing off her hat let the baby butt her at his will.
When the smile for her baby flickered off her face, the final contained anguish of it was awful, but the child gave her little time to nurse grief. Every moment she had either to rock him, croon little songs to him or tickle him, if she were silent or passive for a moment a lusty butt against her breast or a punch from the pink dimpled fist brought her back to his service. As she sat—sideways to the window—it was impossible for her to see Strange, but there was nothing to hide her from him.
The soft murmur of croons and baby-sounds at last half awoke him, he lay for some moments and let the vague music creep into his semi-consciousness, then he opened his eyes impatiently and closed them again—it was only one more dream, he thought—he was beset with dreams, tortured, shaken by them. Again the murmurs broke on his ears, there was a chuckle, a tender protesting voice, and a sharp little squeal. God, spare me! I am haunted by delusions. Another little murmur, and a soft low sob, it was the woman this time.
Again he opened his eyes and through his dreaming saw the little yellow-headed child laughing around the chair, and inviting the woman to a game of bo-peep. They say your father is dead, dead , DEAD , dear one. And must you live, grow up, little manikin, without knowing what a man he was? If you only knew how it hurts! Strange struggled to break the spell—to speak—to move—but he was impotent—paralyzed.
A vague horror—full of sickness and delirium—had him by the throat. Meanwhile, the baby—being a young person of an exploring tendency, and loose on the premises—played havoc with his opportunities. Just then Gwen discovered her loss, ran a few steps forward with outstretched hands, and saw the two—Humphrey and his child.
To Strange it was still a cruel dream—her falling but part of it. He seized on the finger and dragged it to show his mother, but as she took no notice, he smacked her face soundly with his other hand—and simultaneously the two awoke, he from his delirium, she from her swoon. And for one moment the two of them peered at each other through the fog of a bitter past. Which, after all, is the especial mission of his kind.
He stopped when he saw us, stopped dead short on the pavement amidst all the hurrying people. I had pierced him to the heart; in his face I saw it. Sick and cold with shame, scarce knowing what I did, I shrank back in the hansom. Only for a moment, but it was a fatal moment. I must go back! I must go back to Felix! Felix would not have you now. He has caught you here in London alone with me; he has found you out.
Appalled by his words and manner, I turned upon him. His face was still full of malignant triumph, his small dark eyes burnt as they gazed into mine, his lips were drawn back from his big white teeth in a wide grin. It was a full revelation this time. I knew him as he was; loathsomely, horribly ugly and wicked. You arranged it all. You deliberately took me where you knew Felix would see me.
It was a vile plot. I see it all, and I hate you, I hate you! Do not dare to touch me. Take your hands off. Let me get out and leave you this instant. I dashed my hand upwards through the opening in the roof and called to the driver to stop. You may as well sit quiet, Rosamund.
I shall be very kind, you have nothing to fear. Nearly frantic, I called to a passer-by to help me. By this time we had left the Strand far behind us, and were dashing up quiet side streets, but in what direction I knew not. It was like a horrible nightmare: on and on we went, and each step took me more hopelessly away from Felix.
In vain did I struggle, in vain did I cry to be set down. I cannot say how long that terrible drive lasted. My mind throughout was a chaos of horror and despair. We were in the middle of a broad path bordered with trees, and all around us was silent dreary park-land. A drizzle of rain had begun, and beneath the trees it was already dark with the fast gathering shades of a winter evening.
Where to go and what to do next I knew not, so stood helplessly in the rain. The man took it, glanced at me, and hesitated. The man drove away. I felt too stunned to make any appeal to him. Besides, of what use? Was it not he who had driven me on and on, in spite of my cries, until now miles and miles of unknown streets lay between me and Felix. If I had been in the middle of a wilderness, and Felix the other side of the world, he could not have felt more lost to me than he did at that moment.
You have lost Felix. You lead a miserable life at the castle, and it will be still more miserable to go back there now, for Felix will never visit you any more. Neither will I come there after you again. I have had enough of it, I want something better. So if you go back, you go back to be absolutely alone with a madman and his keeper.
Mark my words: your uncle is not, and never will be cured. Matthew keeps it dark, but it is not the first time your uncle has had to go to the asylum by any means. That happened once, so may well happen again. I love you, and I want you to be my wife. You are just fitted for a London life, and with your beauty and originality might make a perfect furore. Now, will you accept what I offer you and marry me? Now say, will you marry me? I had been listening in a dull, stunned way to this speech, but at his last words an hysterical passion of anger awoke within me.
But you—you!! I could find none that would express my detestation of him. He pressed closer, as if determined to kiss me. Then my passion grew beyond my control. I seized the cane he was holding in his hand, and struck him smartly across the face with it.
Then I flung the hateful thing from me amidst the trees. Go and pick up your cane, the cane you used to help you in your plotting. You have wrecked my life. You have persuaded me to deceive, and dragged me down to misery. Go, and never let me see your wicked face again. I hope you will enjoy yourself when you get there. Then, without another word, he strode away and left me alone in that strange place in the rain. I waited until he had disappeared in the darkness, then turned and walked in exactly the opposite direction, neither thinking nor caring where I was going, so dulled was I with misery.
But the road went on, and seemed as if it would never end, and at length I stopped, chilled, wet, and weary. Then suddenly it occurred to me that I ought to try and get home; there was just a faint chance that Felix might go down to ask what it all meant. Just as I passed through them a hansom came driving towards me. My first impulse was to accost the driver, but I pulled myself up just when about to speak, for by the flickering light of the gas-lamp on the gate I saw it was the man who had driven me away from Felix.
With my head down I hurried past him. I made no answer. He turned and drove after me, walking the horse by my side as I pressed on in the rain. It went against my conscience a bit, it did, seeing you so unwilling inside. So back I came again, just to see what had become of you. And now, Missy, if I can make up to you by driving you anywhere, say the word and jump in, and there you shall go. So lost and wretched did I feel, and so consuming was my desire to get home, I could not refuse the offer.
The man helped to bring about my misery, but, if I sent him away now, where should I go, what should I do, in this great unknown city? I climbed in, feeling utterly spent. He flicked his whip and started. I do not know what streets we passed through, but again I seemed to drive through miles and miles of them.
The rain poured down upon the pavements, which shone in murky glossiness beneath the gas-lamps. The people flitted past like black ghosts, beneath the shade of their dripping umbrellas. This was the gay city, the city of my dreams. And, behold! It was a miserable city, a terrible city, a city that made one feel fearfully, utterly alone. We reached Waterloo at last, and my driver called a porter and asked him to attend to me.
Then he drove off instantly, and not until afterwards did I remember that he had gone without even asking for his fare. The porter escorted me to the right platform, but there we found a train to Wildacre had just gone, and there would be no other for thirty-five minutes. I sat down in my wet things upon a bench, and waited with feverish impatience, whilst the clock overhead lagged through the interminable minutes.
Strange horrible men came up and spoke to me. I sat mute, and answered never a word, and my heart sickened with longing for Felix. The porter came for me when the time was up, and put me into the train, and smiled gratefully at me when I gave him half-a-crown. All through the journey to Wildacre I sat in a kind of stupor, only waking from it when people got in and out at the stations, or when a train whizzed past on its way up to London.
Then came the drive up the hill and across the common. It was very cold on the common. The rain had now ceased to fall, and the wind cut my face like a knife, but I was too weary to pull up the cab windows. By the little sunken fence I dismissed the cab, and walked in the darkness across the lawn to the honeysuckle porch.
A flood of light greeted me as I opened the door, and Anne Gillotson rushed out of the dining-room looking white and agitated. Felix Gray has been here. I stood still in the hall, and a deadly sick feeling came over me. Miss, I am more vexed than I can say that it should have happened, for he looked in a dreadful way and went straight out at the door.
I begged him to wait, but he said there would be no use in waiting. I got him pen and paper and he wrote a short note. My dear, how wet you are, and how white you look; what does it all mean? She went into the dining-room and brought it out to me. I tore it open.
There were but two words written on the paper:. Felix must have gone back to town in one of the trains that whizzed past mine as I made the dreadful journey home. I had lost my last chance by missing that earlier train at Waterloo. Thirty-five minutes earlier, and we should not have whizzed past each other in silent misery, and I might have been saved. If only I could have seen him! I should have thrown myself upon his bosom, and clung to him and entreated him.
I should have poured out to him the whole story of my wickedness and my sorrow, have forced him to believe in my remorse and my love. I would have held him fast and never let him go. And he who loved me so much, seeing my misery, seeing my real love, would have been unable to tear himself away. But now, he had gone, he had said good-bye, and all was over. I staggered where I stood, and the frightened dressmaker came over to me and supported me.
There was no strength left in me any more. She led me upstairs, and took off my wet things, and put me to bed like a baby. Mute and unresisting I let her do as she would with me. Then she fetched the charwoman to light my fire, and they whispered together, and through my chilled stupor I could feel both were full of deep concern.
They brought me some hot drink later on, and I drank it after they had implored me long, drank it just to be left in peace. All through the night I lay there, cold, quiet, stupid. There had come upon me a frost, a killing frost, and dead were the tender leaves of hope. My bright day was done. I was for the dark; and no glimpse was given to me, as to Charmian, of the far-off break in the clouds, and the eastern star.
Never once during the miserable Sunday that followed that endless night did I leave the house. I feared lest by some chance Felix might come back and find me again absent. All the day long I watched from the window, straining my eyes across the wide common even after light had waned. Vain effort! No dark figure came towards me, such as I had seen many a time before when waiting eagerly for Felix.
A second night. Again no sleep came near me. I think I was touched with madness that second night. Whenever I closed my eyes I saw the wide dreary common, and far away a dark figure which came on and on, yet never drew nearer. On the Monday, although I knew it would be a fruitless watch, I again set myself to stare out of the window across the common. When the luncheon hour approached Anne came and forcibly drew me away. You will have a serious illness. Will you not tell me what is wrong?
Do, dear child; in some way I might be able to help. When we are in trouble we never know from what quarter help may come. Tell me, tell me, dear! He has said good-bye to me. He will never come back to me again. There is no hope. I have been guilty of a base and cruel sin, and this is my punishment.
God is punishing me: there is no hope when He punishes. I think there is more hope than when man does. Let us try to do something better for you than staring out of that window. Could there yet be hope? Oh, Eastern Star! My heart beat wildly at the thought. I will take no step from here until you have done that. I saw by her face she was determined, so followed her into the dining-room. So deep a horror did I now feel of the great city, I had not the courage to start off by myself.
I forced some solid food down my throat, the barouche was ordered, and in half an hour we were on the weary way to London. It was half past two when we reached Waterloo. Two days ago the place had breathed to me of pleasant anticipation, now it was full of distressing associations. The face of the clock was as the face of an inexorable enemy.
It seemed to me ages before we could get a cab, and again did miles and miles of streets seem to lie twixt me and my goal. I flew up the stairs when I reached the house where Felix lodged, on and on towards the top where he had often said he lived. The first door I came to I opened. The room within was small and had a deserted look. A fire was dying in the grate, pieces of brown paper and lengths of twine lay about on the floor.
One who had inhabited it had been packing there and had gone. Flushing all over with almost unbearable misery I tore at the bell. The landlady had been following me upstairs, and entered now with Anne. A stout woman with a big pale face and dark eyes that looked curiously at me. He gave up these rooms suddenly and has gone abroad to join a relation; his grandmother, I think he said.
As she spoke her face seemed to me to change, and to become enormously big and white like that of my inexorable enemy the clock. I think I was near swooning at that moment. I heard nothing of it until Sunday at any rate. He took everything away with him and said he should not be returning. Poor gentleman! He looked very ill. There was some trouble I am sure, but he was not one to talk about himself.
All I know for certain is that he drove off to catch the club train, 3 P. Perhaps if you drove after him at once you might be just in time to say good-bye. You are not far from Victoria Station here. Strength came back to me at this suggestion. Almost as excited as I, she rushed after me down the stairs, and a moment later we were tearing along the streets to Victoria. We wasted five precious minutes by going first to an utterly wrong part of the station. I was nearly frantic when I discovered this mistake, and no porter seemed to have time to attend to us.
At length a gentleman took pity on our helplessness, and offered us his services. Follow me—this way. We followed quickly where he led but it seemed a long way from the one line to the other. Just in time! Yes, there it was, just a little ahead, to the right. I ran wildly forward, my heart beating almost to suffocation. The others followed me. Oh, somebody, stop the train! Just for an instant, as the train sped by, I caught sight of Felix.
A desolate man in a grey suit sitting by the window with his face buried in his hands. Only for an instant was I given this last glimpse of my lover, then I found myself gazing at the back of the departing train. Oh, dear!
You are just too late every time. I never saw such hard luck. It is the punishing hand, the punishing hand which has kept me back every time. It is no use to struggle against the punishing hand. Take me home, Anne, take me home. She took me home.
Good kind woman, she would not let me succumb to despair. The whole way back she kept telling me that Matthew would be with me that evening, and that he would be surely able to do something, he was so clever. So constantly did she give me this assurance that at length I began to believe in it a little myself. A faint hope crept back into my heart. Matthew might yet save me, Matthew who was so clever, so ingenious, so full of resource; Matthew who was such an experienced man, who had such a wonderful talent for knowing the right thing to do in a difficulty.
If anyone in the world could help me, surely Matthew could. I dwelt upon this thought until it grew and grew in my mind, and became a conviction that Matthew was to save me. How, I knew not, unless by following Felix over the world himself, but somehow he was to save me.
I watched for his coming as a drowning man watches for a spar which the waves are tossing to his side. Two hours after our return from London he came, with his master. The barouche drove up gaily to the door, and the two men got out, both looking radiant.
This was the hour to which two days ago I had so looked forward, and now it was all I could do to come forward and greet the home-comers at all, so unbearable was my grief and anxiety. Here she is! It is most pleasant to return to the castle, and to feel I am once more on my own property. Here he peered sharply and suspiciously into my face.
Matthew gave me a nudge. I knew what it meant. I was to ignore the lunatic asylum, and converse with my uncle as if he had simply been away on a visit. The old insupportable life was beginning again; beginning again without Felix. With Photogravure Portraits. In demy 8vo. The Japs at Home.
With over 50 Full-Page and other Illustrations. Third edition. Round the Compass in Australia. Demy 8vo. Parker may fairly claim to have produced one of the most readable of recent works on Australia. The Cuckoo in the Nest. A Fifth Edition. With Illustrations by G. In crown 8vo. Sixth Edition. The Tragedy of Ida Noble. With over Forty full-page and smaller Illustrations by Everard Hopkins. A Singer from the Sea. A Bitter Debt. A Tale of the Black Country.
With Illustrations by D. Murray Smith. In cr. The Last Tenant. A Novel. Farjeon shows all his old skill as a plot-weaver, and all his usual ingenuity in the choice and arrangement of incidents A Wild Proxy. From Clue to Capture. A Series of Thrilling Detective Stories. With numerous Illustrations by Paul Hardy.
The Fate of Fenella. Fourth Edition. Trollope, A. Conan Doyle, May Crommelin, F. Edward Kennard, Richard Dowling, Mrs. Manville Fenn, Jean Middlemass, H. Lucy, Clo. Graves, F.
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